2 Weeks from Today

Just last week, I was in a bind that most of us have experienced before. I lost a credit card. I use this thing all the time, as it was my primary bank account card. I turned the house upside down looking for it in the couch cushions, my jackets, etc... I even went back to the last 2 places I could have lost it and went through the trash at a convenience store! After looking everywhere for 2 days, the idea that someone else could find the card and use it was weighing on me, so I did the only thing I had the power to do at that point and close the account. No problem, right? Well I called the 800 number and went through the automated lost card reporting tool thing, and completed punching in all the answers to the prompts from my phone, and at the end it tells me: "Thank you. Your card has been reported lost or stolen. A new card will be issued. Please allow 2 weeks for delivery." I was like, what? 2 weeks? I don't think so. I mean, after going through the prompts twice actually because I screwed up the first call and then to hear that my money was tied up with no access for 2 weeks... now I was mad. So it was late and I went to bed intending to call and speak with a human in the morning to get a more definite date of delivery.

2 more days went by. Glad I stashed some cash a few weeks ago 'In case of emergency', I mean, this is starting to qualify. I cleared out 30 minutes where I could call and get to a living person and sat down with my phone. 10 minutes on hold, 2 transfers and another 10 minutes later, my call goes through to a helpful man who pulls up my account. He then proceeds to ask me 3 security questions and then puts me back on hold. When he comes back he says, "Yes, the card has been reported lost or stolen and I will be happy to initiate the process of getting a new card issued to you." Ok, let's do it. Again? Didn't I go through the automated thing and report it 2 days ago... I guess that's what I get for relying on a robot... it's a good thing that I decided to call for a person. Then it was, "Just a moment," He comes back after another few minutes and says, "I've ordered the new card. Is there anything else I can do for you?" I thanked him and then asked how long it will be before I get my new card and he says, "2 weeks from today."