Rest Assured

I have the day off on a Friday - 3 day week-end! Normally I like to make plans when I have an extra day to spend with my friends or family. I try to remain flexible so I can pick up new work on the fly whenever possible. Last night I contacted my friends but of course they have already made plans, and it kind of frustrated me. But it got me thinking. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong.

You see, most of the time I am like the Energizer bunny. Boom boom boom! Constantly doing something and trying to keep a bunch of plates spinning at the same time. I run a small tech business you can visit here. Recently, I was sick for about 3 days straight and I couldn't figure out what it was. My head and chest were freaking out with symptoms resembling an allergic reaction, and I tried treating it as such. Right in the middle of it, one of the plates I had spinning came crashing down due to a partner backing out of a project. This was a shock at first, but then a relief because suddenly I didn't need to focus time and energy on it.

This was in fact exactly what I needed, as I started feeling better almost immediately. The next morning my fever had broken and I had finally gotten a good night's rest for the first time in a few days. Perhaps I had taken on one too many projects and the 'allergic reaction' was partly brought on by stress. Looking back, I hadn't slept through the night for several weeks prior because I was staying up too late burning the midnight oil.

I get it now. Sometimes I can be too intense and stretch myself thin. Even to the breaking point, apparently! Lesson learned. I'm not a spring chicken anymore. So, it is Friday and I am starting this 3 day week-end right. I slept in until 10:30 this morning! Felt good to get some rest.

Roll With It

If there is one thing I learned from my dad (pretty sure there is more than one) it is  tenacity. I watched him take on one thing after another and overcome obstacles by sheer determination, over and over. He often included me as a helper when I was young, and I learned a great deal in the process. From working on cars, to home renovation, to dealing with people, I recall the actions he took. I was a very lucky young man to have a dad who was interested in teaching me how to handle situations that most people would hire another to get it done.

More than anything I want to highlight that he taught me to be observant and to learn by doing. I am not afraid to get in the middle of a mechanical problem or tackle a technical issue because of this. I know there is an answer and I may find it, but only if I stick with it to the end. Tenacious people make things continue to work instead of scrapping the whole thing and starting over, by carefully identifying the problem and fixing it. A relationship can be salvaged in the same way if both parties are willing to be tenacious and work towards resolution. The rewards are worth it.

In retrospect, some things just break. No matter how much time (or money) you spend trying to make it work again, it simply fails. This is  counter-intuitive to tenacious people, but a fact of life. The best one can do is reach out for advice, if only to confirm there is no use wasting resources trying to fix the problem. Things break and must be replaced. Timing is most important, and as Murphy's Law would have it, breakdowns usually occur when you are least prepared.

The takeaway? Remember you are tenacious and you will figure it out.  Also be a realist, as denial and dismay can only cause more problems or even magnify them. The challenge is probably not as big as it seems. Look at yo9ur options, do what you can do and keep moving forward. Part of growing as an individual is learning to adapt and overcome using what is available - requiring creativity. Just roll with it!

Character Test

Recently my wife decided that she was done working for corporations and left her job of many years to start her own business. We had counted on her income up to this point to pay about half of our debts. So now it was on me to pick up the slack and pay the bills. All of them! It has been about 9 years since I had to do it, so it was a big adjustment for me. I had become used to taking time off when I wanted to focus on other interests. I felt like my freedom was under attack. While my mind was in turmoil about how I was going to do this, I tried to be like the sign says and 'Keep Calm and Carry On.' I can't pretend that I was any good at using my poker face. It wasn't more than a couple of weeks before my first outburst. My wife, being the excellent one that she is, just listened and made a small comment. Her response was one of patience and determination. Didn't take me long to realize how I had become focused on me and not us.

Did I mention that she had begun working for herself? This is a paradigm shift that is not easy to make no matter who you are. Especially if all your life you have worked for large corporations like she has. Gone are the structured perks of daily life in a big business setting where generous pay scales and group insurance discounts come with the territory. Such things are rarely enjoyed in the self-employment market. Out here it is sink or swim. What you get, you keep a part of and the rest goes back into your business and taxes. Needles to say, my wife is under a great deal of stress. I remember how hard it was when I started my own business over 10 years ago. It is a place where you depend upon your strengths and your weaknesses are oh so apparent. It is a humbling journey, but one that will bring good changes if you stay with it. As a small business owner, I understand what she is going through. As a husband, I love her and want to be strong enough for her to depend upon. So I see her working all this out and it makes me proud. This 'character test' not just for her, but for me as a husband, and I will do anything it takes to pass.